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I never really liked manuals or non-fiction books a lot. Probably the only non-fiction books I have read and enjoyed throughout my life were the history of literature, poetry books and the Heinemann series about WWII. I never thought I'd really fall in love with the style of books like "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus".
I've seen the book a lot in bookshops and thought about getting it, not because I felt I needed to read it, but because I wanted to know why all the buzz around this book! I didn't see how someone will tell me how I should manage my relationships and my life, I certainly was good at that; I felt I was doing great the way I dealt with everyone around me instinctively. In my eyes, I was Miss Know-It-All! Then, I've been finally urged to read it, and here I am, after realizing I knew nothing and was a complete foolish ignorant, writing a review about this extra-ordinary book, which is more of a treasure, and one of the most valuable things that I've ever read.
From reading this book, one certainly realizes that relationships aren't something instinctive or a piece of cake. I'd like to quote the last sentence from chapter four: "Without a good training manual for relationships, it is easy to understand why many men and women give up on relationships". It is certainly hard to understand the conflicts that occur between men and women without reading this book, we actually think these conflicts are normal and we never think about them. I am even wondering now about how those who had successful marriages made it without reading Gray's book. He shows how and why such conflicts occur, and most importantly, how to treat with them correctly in order to avoid problems and improve relationships. Not just that, but also how to forget and heal problems from the past to be able to look forward for a happy life.
The book not only tells us about our differences, but also teaches us how to make ourselves enjoy these differences and use them as an advantage for ourselves. Throughout the book, the message that the author wants to convey is very clear: that we are very much different but good communication and understanding between partners makes miracles. With each chapter, you will discover yourself and the other more and you will feel that your communication skills are improved greatly. You will also learn everything you need to know about the opposite sex, how they think, feel, react, process information and interpret things, and what should be done amid all that. You will also understand a lot of things about your psychological nature and comprehend the reasons of everything that you feel and, if it's bad or hurtful, know what the cure is.
When I read this book, I realized that it's true that men and women are from different planets. I never really thought we have all those differences; I thought we were all humans! But I was completely wrong for sure! We are all humans but we come from different origins: Martian and Venusian origins! And even though there is some stuff from the book that will not apply on each and every reader, however, most of the book applies on all of us, because after all, we're all of the same two species...
You don't have to be in a relationship to read this book, because reading it will change the way you look towards yourself, others and the way they deal with each other, as well as how you deal with them. You will come to appreciate your parents and your family more, by seeing how they tried so hard to live a life by overcoming differences that they probably didn't realize they exist. For example, in chapter two, the author talks about how different communication among the two partners can be; and how misunderstanding happens while each one of them is trying to show the other love and appreciation. And in chapter three, the book tells us about how differently men and women deal with stress, and how they should accept and deal with those differences. It's certainly something we can't know by 'instinct' only.
The most amazing chapters that made me so surprised were the ones on how men are like "Rubber Bands"; chapter six, and its successor about how women are like "Waves". I have been amazed to read stuff I've never ever heard about concerning the masculine nature, and at the same time, I was relieved to realize that the 'waves' that I have felt from time to time were all natural. I used to accuse myself sometimes of being moody and hate myself when I complained at such times, I thought I was being talkative when I let go of my sad feelings to the ones I trust! I am saying this because I believe we all need awareness, not just about the other, but about ourselves too. We need to dig deep inside us and understand every tiny bit of who we are and what we feel and know why we feel so. If we do that, we can feel satisfied about how we feel and gain self-esteem, confidence and assurance that we are doing OK in life.
I personally encourage everyone to read this book. This will certainly help decrease marital problems and bring more love among those who already love each other. It will also help bring better communication among partners, so that they will express what they want in the right way, for the benefit of both sides not just one of them. In my opinion, the best thing you come out with from the book is that you don't have to sacrifice who we really are or wear a 'mask' in order to have good communication with the opposite sex, but only 'broaden' your mind and see things differently and act according to better techniques.
In the end, if you're looking for fulfilling successful partnerships or if you want to have a wider insight about everything that concerns either Martians or Venusians, I think this is the right book to read. It can be useful for everyone regardless of their marital status. It is certainly a must-read. Thanks John Gray for writing such a masterpiece!